There is a mystique that surrounds midgets. Where did they come from? Do they have abilities that us "normals" do not have? Most importantly, do midgets have souls (unlike gingers)? As we all know, gingers and midgets fall in the "humanoid" subcategory (along with centaurs and ogres) and therefore have abilities that we may not have.
The question that all of you may need answered is: do midgets have nightvision? According to a blogger on answers.yahoo.com, they do indeed have nightvision (source: Lord of the Rings). But what exactly do midgets use their nightvision for? It is somewhat of an urban legend that midgets use their nightvision to stalk their prey (squirrels and owls), which are easier to hunt at night. As we all know, midgets also do not like us to point out that they are "vertically challenged" and it is believed they hunt down those at night who poke fun at them.
Another question you may be asking yourself is: if a midget gets bit by a werewolf, do they stay the same size or do they grow into normal size werewolves? This question has been one that I myself have had a hard time finding an answer to, so I asked somebody I believed was a midget, but also a werewolf. To my surprise he refused to talk to me and so I have to continue my research to find out if this is indeed true.
Are midgets a threat to society? According to Mel Gibson "midgets are the cause of all wars", therefore, pissing off a midget who is in power is not advised. But I do not believe we ever have to worry about that because they only receive half the vote that a normal person does, so aquiring power (at least in this country) is virtually impossible.
But with all the negativities that midgets bring to the table, there are some positives. Midgets are worth 2 camels in Egypt (which in the United States a camel is roughly $3021.32). So if you are planning to travel to Egypt anytime soon, keep that piece of information in mind. Also, if you are a lonely man and have nowhere else to turn always remember that midget prosititutes are worth half the price of a "normal person".
The last topic to discuss is: do midgets have souls? The answer to that question is no. It is believed that midgets made a deal with Lucifer around the year 1300 and ever since then they were condemned to a life without souls. They did however receive something that nobody else had: nightvision and as discussed earlier, it helps them hunt their prey.
I hope this blog helped clear up any stereotypes that you had about midgets. If you have any questions feel free to post them. Thanks.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Monday, February 28, 2011
Watchmen Movie Review
Okay...here is my breakdown of what went down.
The bad guy was the good guy. Although he could have still been the bad guy; although he was originally the good guy. But he did bad things for the good of mankind. Although it was pretty horrible what he did. But at the same time it was good I guess. But not really...he was known as the World's Smartest Man. He was still a douche though...
There was a naked blue man the whole movie. I don't normally enjoy a movie that has more dick than breasts...not my kind of movie. For some reason they found it necessary to show his penis whenever they could. Which I thought they could have left out. He was originally some kind of scientist and electricity made him some kind of god. He thought he was the cat's pajamas; he still seemed kinda like a douche though. He was a straight up asshole. Back to my earlier point...he used to be a human. So you would think he would know that he should wear underwear at least. At least he had the decency to wear underwear when he killed Vietnamese people during the Vietnam war. But not while he is among his friends.
There was this one chick and she liked the blue guy. I guess somehow she was sexually attracted to him...he could to this one thing with his hands. Bam! Instant orgasm. She kinda rubbed off as a slut because she was getting rubbed on by the blue guy whilst talking to another dude. Her mom was raped by a creeper with a mustache and thats how she was made. Her mom also rubbed off as kinda slutty because of the clothes she wore. Oh...and she was sleeping with like...2 blue guys at once point in the movie. Hence...she was a slut.
There was this one guy who thought he was Batman. He wore the same exact get-up. Somehow he knew some ancient Jackie Chan style karate and whooped everyone's ass. Except for the World's Smartest Man (aka bad/good guy); he knows even better Karate which he probably learned from Bruce Lee. He flew this weird plane-thing that looked like shit. He is rich...he should afford something that looks cool. He also just happened to run out of fuel right as he reached his destination...lucky him. He was kinda a pussy too. Lucky for him he knew Karate. He also wore a cape.
There also was this dude who wore a mask the whole movie. He was mentally insane or something. He was still a badass. He was a little ginger kid...must have been why he always wore his mask. He got made fun of when he was little...so he also decided to become a ninja. His mom was a whore and thats how she made money. She told him she should of had an abortion when she was pregnant with him. He took it pretty well. He didn't have a house. He just broke into his friend's house and ate their food. He didn't wear a cape. His weakness is also the World's Smartest Man because he can catch bullets. Mask guy however cannot.
Last dude to talk about is a guy they call the Comedian. Although he was an asshole and his jokes were terrible. His idea of a joke was punching a woman in the face and laughing. He was pretty strong and he had a mustache (he was the slut girl's dad she didn't find out until the end of the movie). He got an asian girl pregnant when he was in Vietnam and he killed her because he didn't want to pay child support...plus he was an asshole. He got sad and talked to this dude who was his arch-enemy. Although the guy had huge ears and was like 80 years old and he was dying of cancer and was a pussy. Not much of a villian. The Comedian died when he was pushed out of a window. He always had a cigar in his mouth and he enjoyed being a douche.
So all in all I give the movie a 5/10. If you are into sluts, rapists, blue dicks and a dude who thinks he is Batman; then this movie is for you.
The bad guy was the good guy. Although he could have still been the bad guy; although he was originally the good guy. But he did bad things for the good of mankind. Although it was pretty horrible what he did. But at the same time it was good I guess. But not really...he was known as the World's Smartest Man. He was still a douche though...
There was a naked blue man the whole movie. I don't normally enjoy a movie that has more dick than breasts...not my kind of movie. For some reason they found it necessary to show his penis whenever they could. Which I thought they could have left out. He was originally some kind of scientist and electricity made him some kind of god. He thought he was the cat's pajamas; he still seemed kinda like a douche though. He was a straight up asshole. Back to my earlier point...he used to be a human. So you would think he would know that he should wear underwear at least. At least he had the decency to wear underwear when he killed Vietnamese people during the Vietnam war. But not while he is among his friends.
There was this one chick and she liked the blue guy. I guess somehow she was sexually attracted to him...he could to this one thing with his hands. Bam! Instant orgasm. She kinda rubbed off as a slut because she was getting rubbed on by the blue guy whilst talking to another dude. Her mom was raped by a creeper with a mustache and thats how she was made. Her mom also rubbed off as kinda slutty because of the clothes she wore. Oh...and she was sleeping with like...2 blue guys at once point in the movie. Hence...she was a slut.
There was this one guy who thought he was Batman. He wore the same exact get-up. Somehow he knew some ancient Jackie Chan style karate and whooped everyone's ass. Except for the World's Smartest Man (aka bad/good guy); he knows even better Karate which he probably learned from Bruce Lee. He flew this weird plane-thing that looked like shit. He is rich...he should afford something that looks cool. He also just happened to run out of fuel right as he reached his destination...lucky him. He was kinda a pussy too. Lucky for him he knew Karate. He also wore a cape.
There also was this dude who wore a mask the whole movie. He was mentally insane or something. He was still a badass. He was a little ginger kid...must have been why he always wore his mask. He got made fun of when he was little...so he also decided to become a ninja. His mom was a whore and thats how she made money. She told him she should of had an abortion when she was pregnant with him. He took it pretty well. He didn't have a house. He just broke into his friend's house and ate their food. He didn't wear a cape. His weakness is also the World's Smartest Man because he can catch bullets. Mask guy however cannot.
Last dude to talk about is a guy they call the Comedian. Although he was an asshole and his jokes were terrible. His idea of a joke was punching a woman in the face and laughing. He was pretty strong and he had a mustache (he was the slut girl's dad she didn't find out until the end of the movie). He got an asian girl pregnant when he was in Vietnam and he killed her because he didn't want to pay child support...plus he was an asshole. He got sad and talked to this dude who was his arch-enemy. Although the guy had huge ears and was like 80 years old and he was dying of cancer and was a pussy. Not much of a villian. The Comedian died when he was pushed out of a window. He always had a cigar in his mouth and he enjoyed being a douche.
So all in all I give the movie a 5/10. If you are into sluts, rapists, blue dicks and a dude who thinks he is Batman; then this movie is for you.
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